If you’re reading this, you’re probably kinkier than you’d like to admit.
It’s okay! Most of us are. According to a recent study, most of us have a broad variety of freaky fantasies on a regular basis. But what if you want to take some of those fantasies out of the realm of the imaginary and actualize them in your bedroom? You may not know it, but there’s an entire community of people out there who indulge in a fantastic range of fetishes. If you can do it consensually and (reasonably) safely, there’s probably a community for it.
Most kinky subcultures tend to band together under the (admittedly loose) umbrella of “BDSM.” BDSM has to be broken down into three parts to be explained. The first, “BD,” stands for “Bondage and Discipline.” The second, “DS,” stands for “Dominance and Submission.” The final part, “SM,” stands for sado-masochism. But not everyone who engages in kinky play practices all (or any) of these aspects. There are people with specific item fetishes (such as balloons, feathers, or sweaters), people who enjoy various modes of role play (sexual role play, age play, pet play), and people who just want to (consensually) see (voyeurism) or be seen (exhibitionism).
Basically, if you can dream it and find a willing partner/s, you can be it!
The world of kink can seem daunting at first, but it’s a world that I have some experience navigating…and now, dear reader, I’d like to pass along some of that insight to you. Kink Korner will be a somewhat regular column that will be done in two parts; “A View From the Top” will be about various aspects of kink culture from the perspective of the dominant, or “top,” while “Bottoms Up!” will be my partner’s version of events. We’ll cover the basics – consent, aftercare, impact play, bondage, role play, getting involved in the community, navigating a dungeon, etc. – but we’ll also be happy to field questions from the UCLA community.
After all, as science tells us, you’re all a lot dirtier than you admit.
More to come…stay kinky, UCLA.