On Valentine’s Day, the online newsmagazine Wear Your Voice: Intersectional Feminist Media published the article “Platonic Love: Relationships Are More than Just Sex.” (http://wearyourvoicemag.com/2016/02/12/platonic-love-relationships-just-sex/) hyperlink? The article goes into the importance and complexity of platonic relationships and creates the space to understand connections that may not fit perfectly into predetermined categories of friendships or romantic relationships.
“It involves love and trust, it’s all about enjoying the person’s companionship and their company. Often times, platonic relationships go beyond words, or thoughts. They transcend the physical aspects of other types of relationships, you can almost feel them on a spiritual level. It’s a way for two people to hold space with each other and share compassion, radical vulnerability and give each other advice.”
Identifying as somewhere on the asexual spectrum and coming to realize that I am also somewhere on the aromantic spectrum, I have thought a lot about the fluidity of relationships and my difficulties with defining them. This article resonates with me and the love I have for my friends that often goes beyond what I’m able to articulate or even understand myself. So I have decided to go with the flow of platonic love I have for my friends and watch it grow as we hurdle and crash through life. This loose poem is for my friend who I love dearly and who has been that challenge in my life to be more open and communicative.
While I hate your guts a very tiny bit
It’s nothing compared to the all encompassing love I have for you
And the bond I’m sure has affected my epigenetic makeup
Future generations will also hate you a very tiny bit
While loving your soul
As your very existence and presence makes everything better
And as it chases away the tendrils of my anxiety
With the sound of your heart beating translating to the world still turning
Because your name is my antonym in every flimsy loose leaf dictionary
All your traits are my opposites
On paper there is no compatibility for our differences
But we carved at this seemingly amorphic and adamantium based mountain
With our picks and shovels of understanding and support
And toiled to build the foundations of our friendship
That is still unfolding and still being constructed
So I’ma still say I hate you a bit sometimes
And that I wanna toss you in a trash can
But those are empty statements and threats
Laced with the truth that I love you with all the gross coils of my brain tissue
And want the best for you
And will be there for you through all this shit
And through whatever obstacles this sadistic universe decides to hurl our way.
As the writer of the article states, “Everyone’s experiences with relationships are completely unique.” Holding on to that truth is what will allow me to accept the oddities and love in my friendships and to foster room for their growth.