Welcome to OutWrite’s “From the Archive” series! This series is designed to provide an opportunity to interact with our organization’s archives, assess the opinions and relevance of our past content, and bring that content into the present. In doing so, this series will applaud, critique, and put into conversation ideas of the past with present ideologies and dialogues. Overall, we at OutWrite hope this series opens up conversations and helps us reconnect with the past while striving for a better future.
*The following article no longer serves to represent the thoughts of the organization today.*
TenPercent Fall 2000
Homosexuality In 9 Easy Steps
IF WE CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT!
- Kiss your best friend, or any friend for that matter. (just as long as you and they are the same sex!)
- Reject your religion. Who needs a savior once you have found your homoness?
- Girls: cut your hair (or grow a mullet) and pierce something. Boys: pierce you-know-what
- Give up all responsibility! Yes, it’s true. Once you turn gay, you are no longer obligated to be a mature person.
- Wear stickers saying, “Gay is the way!”
- Girls: Join the Army. Boys: Join the Navy
- Make sure to attend promiscuity training.
- Dispose of anything not in shades of lavender or pink in your wardrobe.
- Like our favorite lesbian comedian, come out on television!
NOW, IF YOU JUST FOLLOW THOSE SIMPLE STEPS, YOU ARE WELL ON YOUR WAY DOWN THE LIL’ GAY-BRICK ROAD.
ENJOY!
*Commentary and analysis to come*