Illustrated by Cole Lopez (They/Them)
This poem was originally published in our Spring 2022 print issue “Reflections of Radiance.“
we are
building a new life
painting a new life
writing a new life
defining something beyond the stories and the songs
I write your name on my wrist like an incantation
sitting waiting for the train to come
listen
I didn’t know that when I came over it would be so late when I’d go
in barely sleeping for three days you walked me out
I walked you home
then stood there for a moment
in the darkness
all alone
under a streetlight
by a street sign
one moth
one glowing phone
text me when you get back?
and that is when you when know,
star matter is alive inside of your hands and
I never want to let you go
&
i like the way
my body shakes
because that means this is real
i think i like you too
i do
and i say this
i reveal that
we are together not forever but for a time that is undefined
together,
not forever,
but.
you may crawl inside my mind
fallen gods
forget-me-nots
the endless, relentless need
to breathe out summer air
my feet are bare
I feel the palpitations underneath the hands that are pressing into cotton
however fleeting the feeling is
it’s not designed to be forgotten
and it feels strange, being happy
and telling you about it
I want to be so close to you and
I’ve never felt this close to you and
I wish every single person who was standing in this room was like you.
forgive me,
it’s true
I was 17 once, then I was 19,
leaving skeletons on costume racks in a sun-filled apartment,
trying to bring something back
we take our dress shoes off to remove the latch
we are alone together
we blow out the match
and you’re holding my hand while you drive,
all sun tattoos and crescent moons,
details that are not just details but
the imagery and the lines we write,
like,
we’re in the park and in your car here with this feeling that we find
I watch the flowers wrap around you, an ache that’s so sublime
and it feels strange, being happy
and telling you about it
your name on my lips like an incantation and
I don’t know how I lived without it for so long
I want to be close to you and I’ve never felt this close to you and
we are building a new life, painting a new life, writing a new life
defining something beyond the folklore, beyond the stories and the songs
saying i was 17 once,
in need of something to talk about, write about, dream about
forever chasing rabbits down holes until they implode but in that time you find,
there are more than abstractions pulled out of thin air,
water pouring from the eyes,
what did and did not happen.
I know,
surprise.
Credits:
Author: Jackson Harris (He/Him)
Artist: Cole Lopez (They/Them)
Copy Editor: Bella (She/They)