I'm an educator at our local aquarium, and a few weeks ago, I had a band of young girls come up to me and listen attentively as I taught them about whale vertebrae and feeding patterns. One question seemed to prompt the next, and they stayed with me until the end of my shift. After I said goodbye, a young girl chased after me and shouted down the hallway. hey! I turned around to answer any lingering whale questions, but to my surprise, she just gave me a big hug. And she told me, "i want to be just like you when i grow up." In my search for "queer joy." I usually find myself coming up short. Because it would be amazing if I felt pride and joy in my identity, but usually I just wish that I could be like everybody else. It's exhausting to feel so often like a square peg in a round hole, but sometimes all you need is a whale cart. Sometimes it's just one thing that makes all the rest okay, and if "queer joy" feels like a million miles away, "queer getting by" or "queer keeping-my-head- above-water" is just as important. My guess is you're reading this in search of queer joy and I'm sorry I can't make content to fit that bill. but you being here searching for it is really beautiful, too.
Art & Illustration
Whale Cart

Created by Zoë Collins (She/Her) This piece was originally published in our Spring 2022 print issue “Reflections of Radiance.“

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I'm an educator at our local aquarium, and a few weeks ago, I had a band of young girls come up to me and listen attentively as I taught them about whale vertebrae and feeding patterns. One question seemed to prompt the next, and they stayed with me until the end of my shift. After I said goodbye, a young girl chased after me and shouted down the hallway. hey! I turned around to answer any lingering whale questions, but to my surprise, she just gave me a big hug. And she told me, "i want to be just like you when i grow up." In my search for "queer joy." I usually find myself coming up short. Because it would be amazing if I felt pride and joy in my identity, but usually I just wish that I could be like everybody else. It's exhausting to feel so often like a square peg in a round hole, but sometimes all you need is a whale cart. Sometimes it's just one thing that makes all the rest okay, and if "queer joy" feels like a million miles away, "queer getting by" or "queer keeping-my-head- above-water" is just as important. My guess is you're reading this in search of queer joy and I'm sorry I can't make content to fit that bill. but you being here searching for it is really beautiful, too.
Art & Illustration
Whale Cart
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